We always hear \u201cthe rules\u201d from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Learn to work the toilet seat. You\u2019re a big girl. If it\u2019s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don\u2019t hear us bitching about you leaving it down. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again! Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it. Saturday = sports. It\u2019s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. Don\u2019t cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you\u2019re stuck with her.<\/p>\n
Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. Crying is blackmail.
\nAsk for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! We don\u2019t remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.<\/p>\n
Most guys own three pairs of shoes \u2013 tops. What makes you think we\u2019d be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress? Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
\nCome to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That\u2019s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. Check your oil! Please.
\nAnything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.<\/p>\n
If you think you\u2019re fat, you probably are. Don\u2019t ask us. We refuse to answer.
\nIf something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.<\/p>\n
Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it\u2019s genetic.
\nYou can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.<\/p>\n
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
\nChristopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
\nThe relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
\nALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. We have no idea what mauve is.
\nIf it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.<\/p>\n
We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
\nIf we ask what is wrong and you say \u201cnothing,\u201d we will act like nothing\u2019s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
\nIf you ask a question you don\u2019t want an answer to, expect an answer you don\u2019t want to hear.
\nWhen we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
\nDon\u2019t ask us what we\u2019re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the offside rule, or monster trucks.
\nYou have enough clothes.
\nYou have too many shoes.
\nNo NO you really do have too many shoes.
\nIt is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn\u2019t matter which quiz.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
We always hear \u201cthe rules\u201d from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Learn to work the toilet… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2933,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2930","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n