Michael Jordan Ends Partnership With Nike: “Our Values No Longer Align”

Basketball great Michael Jordan has been a staple at Nike for three decades. His shoe line, “Air Jordans” is still the most successful brand in the world and his proprietary “jump juice” that gives the sneakers their air-like quality is one of the most valuable patents in history.

All that is over now that the company has chosen a new direction for its future. Rather than back athletes and iconic influencers like Jordan and others, Nike has gone woke and chosen a man pretending to be a woman, Dylan Mulvaney, as the new face of its brand.

“They no longer align with my values,” said Jordan, “the partnership with their new friend is nice and all but it’s not for me. I can take my shoes to any company ibn the world. I’m not Kanye.”

We checked and Michael Jordan is, in fact, not Kanye. He does, however, own the patent on the anti-gravity air pockets that make those shoes unique. People don’t understand the technology that went into those things back then.

“Five-seven white dudes wanted to dunk,” said Nike marketing director Joe Barron, “so we made that possible. Nowadays they just want to look cool. Kids these days are soft.”

Air Jordans will continue to sell under the Nike brand for the foreseeable future but also maybe they won’t if enough patriots boycott them like Yeti and the NFL. God bless America.

Related Posts

CHER TRAGIC NEWS!

legendary singer has told fans of the tragic news. Cher has announced the tragic news her mum Georgia Holt has died at the age of 96. The…

The Great Salesman!

A young man from Nebraska comes to Florida and looks for work at a large “everything under one roof” department store. “Do you have any sales experience?”…

Can You Remember What This Hole Is Used For?

My husband and I flipped houses for a number of years, and we made some pretty wild discoveries when ripping apart old houses. Some of my favorite…

Marble-topped bee-watering station

Are you tired of seeing thirsty bees buzzing around your garden, desperately searching for water? Well, fret no more! We’ve got a delightful, easy-peasy solution that will…

Little Johnny says the darndest things

Hilarious really made me laugh The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, “My family…

62-year-old Billy Ray Cyrus marries 34-year-old bride Firerose – fans upset by one little detail

Billy Ray Cyrus just tied the knot with his partner Firerose. They have been officially dating in 2022 and now have tied the knot in an intimate…